The one that almost got away
Following a year of online college classes at the school that wasn’t quite right for me, in the major that wasn’t quite right either, I decided to hit the re-set button. Looking back, I’m so happy things unfolded the way they did.
Below, I’ve shared the essay I submitted with my application to transfer to Belmont University’s School of Music.
As a senior in high school, I chose to pursue a degree in music therapy, hoping to perform and grow musically, but also be prepared for a steady, fulfilling job. I researched schools, then applied, auditioned, and was accepted to several music therapy programs. I narrowed my options down to 2: Belmont and Ohio University. Because Ohio U is so close to my home, I had already visited several times, and was familiar with the history of their program. I had only been to Belmont once, on audition weekend. I made plans to attend Be Belmont Day on April 4. I love Nashville, and I was excited to get a better sense of the program and campus life. Then, COVID hit. Be Belmont Day and in-person visits were cancelled. There was so much uncertainty. Choosing a less expensive, more familiar school, located closer to home seemed like the best choice. I enrolled at Ohio U.
I know I’m not alone when I say that the pandemic derailed my college selection process and resulted in a totally unexpected freshman experience. Like others on campuses across the country, I struggled to feel engaged with online courses and to make connections with professors and other students in a remote setting. But - long, lonely days also offered an opportunity for reflection, and enabled me to make some discoveries about myself, to clarify my career path, and to identify the environment in which I will thrive.
That fall, I noticed how much I looked forward to my voice studio each week, where I had the chance to perform and hear my classmates perform. I loved being able to connect with an audience again, despite the poor audio quality and other challenges presented by Zoom. I kept thinking about performing, and how much I missed it.
One exceptionally powerful experience stood out. My voice teacher selected “I’ll Be Here” from Ordinary Days for me to sing in the studio recital. After working on the technical aspects of the piece, she challenged me to really dig into the emotion. At age 17, it was a tall order to convey the feeling of a woman trying to rediscover happiness after losing her husband on 9/11. It's a beautiful and haunting piece, and I was nervous about doing it justice. The night of the performance, I climbed the stairs to the stage and anxiously grabbed the microphone. The pianist began to play, and I let myself drift into the music. I reached the emotional climax, as the audience realized the husband the woman has been describing was lost on 9/11. Shaking, I was filled with a deep ache, and somehow, I knew they felt it, too. I could feel every heartbeat, hear every breath. I wanted to linger forever, but I moved on. The feeling didn’t go away. When I finished, the room was completely silent. For a moment, I wondered if I had really connected. Had I imagined it? But a second later, the room erupted in applause, erasing my doubts. I left the stage, feeling a wave of exhaustion come over me. I was deeply and completely satisfied.
I have replayed that moment and others in my mind over and over again, realizing just how much I love performing. That emotional connection with an audience is both addictive and beautiful. I can’t imagine life without it. I don't want a safe and steady career in music therapy. I want to be center stage, with a microphone in my hand, connecting with an audience, and sharing beautiful music. Is there any better place than Belmont to pursue that dream? I don’t think so.
I think back often on the short, special time I spent on Belmont's campus. I remember that nervous, excited energy I felt, and I want to feel it again. I remember the camaraderie I shared with the other auditionees, and I know I want to be surrounded by others who share my passion and drive to succeed. I’m eager to learn in awe-inspiring facilities from world-class faculty, all in Music City, surrounded by performers and performance opportunities. I want to learn how to make my mark on the music industry from the best in the business. I want to be a student at Belmont.